My Foray into Mumsnet

Some Interesting Links I have found pertaining to this post:
The Sunday Times: The Bullies Hiding Behind Mumsnet's skirts

Mail Online: It's not exactly baby talk: Mumsnet forced to censor 'pornographic' messages posted by mother

The Independent: It's nappies at dawn on Mumsnet

The Sunday Times Again: Gina Ford accepts five sum over libel claim on Mumsnet

The Telegraph: Mumsnet Foundes demand libel law reform
In my quest to find readers for this blog I have tried many things, from friending people on Facebook, to posting on established message boards. I spend quite a large amount of time looking for places that will be open to the views and ideals I write about, for all my trouble the return is disappointing and most days barely anyone off these potential feeder sites read, even if I've posted something new.  I made a decision yesterday to give mumsnet.com a chance. I thought it would be perfect actually, considering it's a site for mums to come together in a social network and discuss being mums. How wrong I was. I attempted to post my article on the Invisible Mother in their politics section with a link to my main blog, thinking that was the sort of article concerned mums would want to read. Rather than being read and an open minded discussion forming with people debating and possibly even saying I was making a good point or not. I was immediately attacked  and called a naive idiot and told I don't know what I am talking about. Some of the women informed me that they wouldn't be caught dead in any class on the "feminine arts" and surely would have no need to learn skills like sewing or knitting. I was shocked at just how vicious and cruel the Mumsnet crowd are. I also realized after looking at the profiles that most of the women are about the age of 35, which is the cut off  for Second Wave Feminists.

The basic description of Mumsnet, for parents by parents, leads one to believe that they welcome all sorts of women, stay at home Mums, Eco conscience Mums, Immigrant Mums, Working class Mums, Upper class Mums, Military Mums. The truth is there are only two groups welcome on Mumsnet, Single Mums and Working Mums. Most of whom are  newly middle class with money but no taste, class, or idea of what it actually means to be middle class. Charvas done good. There is no sense of inclusiveness for younger mums and surely if there is a sense of community it must be a cut throat, backstabbing, self serving one. Clearly I will find no retro women in such an environment.

In the senseless attack on my person, which I of course take with a grain of salt, the mumsnet brigade of  hysterical reactionaries only served to reinforce several vague conceptions I had of them. The first being that they are vicious, barracudas willing to tear the throats out of anyone with a new idea like a rabies infected wolf. The second is that they are ill informed women who don't even know the history of the movement that controls their behaviours and actions. I was informed by one woman that I was being a hypocrite for praising the Suffragettes and then tearing down the Feminist movement as they are "the same thing". Clearly, Mumsnet members watch absolutely no BBC 4 or even Antiques Roadshow, otherwise they would have learned countless times over, that while the Feminist movement took some inspiration from the Suffragettes they are in fact two separate movements  with two totally different aims and outlooks. In fact the Suffragettes would probably look on at the Feminists in horror at the way they have sacrificed their femininity and womanly identity.

The most shocking thing for me was the realization that these women don't really care all that much for their children's well being. The working mums are more concerned with the results of Strictly Come Dancing, and who's being a twat at work than their children. Carbon neutral child rearing seems to be ignored except with the section that reviews products when it hits on cloth nappies. And while we're on the product reviews, these so called responsible parents have a section on video games for small children. Even though there are multiple reports from various governments saying that video games, tv, and monitors of any kind are bad for children under the age 8 years old and can seriously damage the development of the eyes ears, and brain function. We also know that even in adults there is the threat of video game addiction that can seriously destroy a life just as much as alcohol or drug addiction.  A good parent would take that information to mean that little junior will have the telly and Nintendo off before he/she/it reaches the appropriate age. Not on Mumsnet.

When the Mumsnet cult members do care about children's welfare it's your children's welfare. Currently they are running a campaign to get lads mags out of shops.  I don't know about you but our local chemist keeps the filthy stuff behind the counter and totally out of reach of the ankle biters. What really disturbs me about this mumsnet campaign against the lads mag is that under this ludicrous demand a woman posing in a bikini is wrong and should be nowhere near your child but it's ok, for the same child to stand at the checkout lane of the TESCOS with 50 ways to achieve SUPER ORGASMS, or Make Love to your Man like a Whore, Ten Erogenous Zones to make your Man Beg for More at their eye level. Is it me or is this a double standard? And what about the multitude of Women's Magazine telling you how to lose 20 pounds in 20 Days surely you don't want your little girl looking at diet tips at 4 years old? than of course there are the Fashion Mags also for women where Concentration Camp survivor level thin people pose in ridiculous couture fashions telling your children that they have to look like an Ethiopian from the 1980s or like Bosnians or Croats in the process of being ethnically cleansed for something as stupid as an alphabet or religion. Surely all of these magazines should also be removed? But the Mumsnet crowd wouldn't have them removed because this is the core of their reading material.

Much of my encounter happened in the politics section as that is where I posted my piece. I have resigned myself on the whole to be generally let down by most internet discussions on politics.  Personally, I come from a family that is active in politics, during WW2  my grandparents and family were involved in the Jewish Resistance with 2 Great Uncles blowing up rail tracks the Nazis were using as a supply line, and to transport cattle cars of people to Death Camps. For their conviction they were sent to the Ghetto where they were killed. When my Grandparents settled down in 1950s New York, they came in contact with the blacklisted victims of McCarthyism and did what they could to help. In the 1960s, my parents  were part of the hippie movement to end the war in Vietnam and my mother became a staunch feminist who took me to meetings as a child and young adult. I have taken part in elections in the United States and Canada, and am getting material ready for when I join the Fabian Society next month. To make matters worse on my political background I went and married an aristocrat who's family have been involved in Polish Politics for at least 600 years and continues that tradition outside of the country. In short I am not a bystander, I am not a member of the idle apolitical masses, I am a political animal  who understands the subtleties and complexities of politics both national and international. I was initially pleased that on the surface the Mumsnet members were discussing the austerity measures being meted out by the ConDem government. On closer inspection these women were complaining about the cuts to tuition fees which is admirable. However, they talked about nothing else and didn't seem concerned about cuts to transport or regional government or infrastructure. Their concern was purely selfish and self serving. One thread that looked very promising was titled Thatcher the Worst PM Britain has ever had. If this was a normal political discussion even the Tories would agree somewhat. The thread opens with a factual listing of the acts by Margaret Thatchers government that even the most unbiased would agree were at the very least unpleasant and at the worst attacks on the working class and the North of the country. In a rational discussion you would have a few people defending Mrs. Thatcher some people sitting on the fence, and yet others agreeing with the original poster. What happened here was a Daily Mail style love fest for the sainted Margaret Thatcher who could do no wrong. I felt like I had walked in to a service at the Church of Maggie. I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised, as according to several reliable sources, Mumsnet was exclusively advertising the Tories during the last election and I find it hard to believe no other party would have been interested in advertising. Go on, pull the other leg ladies. This political one sidedness in a supposedly all inclusive open community like Mumsnet does not bode well for freedom of thought and the sharing of ideas.

When I told my husband, or partner as the Mumsnet crowd would call him, that I was going into Mumsnet he made a face like I had just suggested that I take a walk through Skaro dressed like Doctor Who. Clearly the Mumsnet members are not Daleks, however I am not totally convinced that they aren't Vogons. These women have proven conclusively to me that they are on the whole, vacuous, selfish, vicious, unpleasant creatures who's minds calcified years ago.

Since my failed foray into Mumsnet I have learned that my post has been removed as the powers that be at Mumsnet do not want to admit that demographics are changing and clearly don't want to entertain any kind of discussion about that change. While they can ignore me and bury me in their site they cannot hide from the numerous studies and articles that have all said the same thing that I am saying, printed in a variety of UK sources that cover the full political spectrum of right, centre and left. The reactionaries on the mumsnet site have also taken to slagging me off on twitter, which they naively failed to realize I would trace directly back to them as soon as they linked to me.  If anything I want to thank them for the publicity, as while I am aware that I will never change these peoples minds, if they allow even ten new people to become aware of the situation and read my words despite what they are saying, those are ten new people I didn't have yesterday. In a related matter, one of the mumsnet women have a blog called  la douce vie suisse in which she links to my article Career vs. Family the Real Sex in the City girls, she takes the time to attack my words and twist them and make me out to be some sort of misogynistic traitor to women, but she agrees with everything that I am saying, she just doesn't realize it. Unlike her though, I am not afraid of people to know my name, unlike her I have a contact email where you can get a hold of me even privately to carry on a conversation and exchange of views. This woman does not allow comments, which I do, gives no contact information and hides behind a pseudo intellectual fake name so that she doesn't have to defend her words or her actions, and can say as many libellous things as she wants without any consequences to her.

I mention all of this only because I am deeply disappointed in what I already knew to be true that the people who claim to speak for all women and defend their interests are not in the least bit interested in hearing what the next generation of women have to say, are not interested in letting these women any where near the levers of power within the greater female intellectual community and most assuredly are dead set against having the current generation of women who are coming up, be recognized by the political elites who make policy as anything other than small children who need to be "handled" and who are still far too young to have an opinion that matters. I am 25 years old, I've have had the right to vote for quite some time now, I am married, I am a fully functioning social and working person but apparently myself, and many millions like me will have to wait another fifteen years before these dinosaurs step aside and give us the space we so richly deserve according even to the orthodox dogma of these people.

What this situation does give us though, is the opportunity to break free of any attitude we may have had that required us to be nice and politely wait our turn. We now know that we cannot count on these women to speak for us, represent us, or make room for us and that what we have to do, we must do ourselves.

At least no one can say I didn't try, gotta run need to take my cat to the veterinarian and bake some more bread as we're running out. Tara Merry Christmas to those of you who celebrate it and a Happy New Year if we don't see each other before then.